I am not a native English speaker and I have sometimes referred to people as male and female (as that is what I have been taught) but I have received some backlash in some cases, especially for the word “female”, is there some negative thought in the word which I am unaware of?

I don’t know if this is the best place to ask, if it’s not appropriate I have no problem to delete it ^^

  • TheBananaKing@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Female as an adjective is perfectly fine.

    A female patient, a female politician, a female customer, etc. That’s the best way to refer to those.

    What’s bad is using ‘female’ as a noun: "A female. "

    In general, you just don’t use adjectives-as-nouns to refer to people. You don’t call someone “a gay”, “a black”, or “a Chinese”. That is offensive, and “a female” has the same kind of feel.

    (there are exceptions to the above: you can call someone ‘an American’ or 'A German", but not “A French”. I don’t understand why - if you can’t feel your way, best just avoid it)

    Now, you could get around it by calling someone “a female person” - except that we already have a word for “female person”, and that’s “woman”. And to go out of your way to avoid saying “woman” makes you sound like some kind of incel weirdo, and you don’t want that.

    • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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      8 months ago

      And to go out of your way to avoid saying “woman” makes you sound like some kind of incel weirdo, and you don’t want that.

      I’d just like to emphasise this. It’s not that using a different term is intrinsically bad, it’s just that the people who tend to do it are not cool and you don’t want to look like you’re associated with them.

        • vzq@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          8 months ago

          It’s ridiculous that a perfectly fine word is seen as insult used by a certain type of people.

          That’s how association works

          I can have the best and most lasting solution to a problem ever, but my company still won’t allow me to put “THE FINAL SOLUTION” in marketing copy.

          And they shouldn’t.

          • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
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            8 months ago

            The VP of product messaged me a couple weeks ago after some back and forth about some work. She asked if I had some time to talk about the final solution. I went “uhhhh so long as we don’t call it that”

            I’m like 90% sure she had no idea why that phrase is reserved.

          • 𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬@lemmy.ml
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            8 months ago

            So you say … The word describing a biological fact, and a national socialist euphemism for mass murdering millions of people are the same?

            • vzq@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              8 months ago

              So you say … The word describing a biological fact, and a national socialist euphemism for mass murdering millions of people are the same?

              Do you even hear yourself?

              Engage in good faith or sod off.

          • Pulptastic@midwest.social
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            8 months ago

            Negative connotations to whom? If those described do not like the term it should not be used. Basic human dignity, just like using one’s preferred pronouns.

      • Quastamaza@lemmy.ml
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        8 months ago

        Meanwhile, you are perfectly ok with judging someone based uniquely on which term they tend to use? Oh my, mankind is really going down the drain…

        • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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          8 months ago

          Yes. Life is a game of trying to guess which people are full of shit. If they say “feeeemales” and then turn out to be fine, great, I’ll probably give them a heads up not to do that.

          Was there a non-judgmental era I’m unaware of?

    • pr06lefs@lemmy.ml
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      8 months ago

      Interesting point with adjectives vs nouns.

      ‘a Frenchman’ would be more correct than ‘a French’. Because French is only an adjective, while American and German are both nouns and adjectives. But Frenchman is not gender neutral like German or American.

      Could go with Francophone, but that’s any french speaking person so that includes canadians, africans, etc.

      And, it would seem to make sense to go with Frank, but the Franks were originally germans, then expanded their territory to include France, and the name stuck there but not in their original territory, so is it really correct to refer to the French as Franks? Since no one does it, I would guess not.

      • amelia@feddit.de
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        8 months ago

        Not a native speaker here. Would a French woman also be 'a Frenchman’s and if not, how would you refer to a French woman correctly?

        • pr06lefs@lemmy.ml
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          8 months ago

          “Frenchwoman” perhaps? But that sounds a bit dated to me. I’d probably go with “French person” or “French people”.

    • Anamnesis@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      You can soften “a black” or “a Chinese” entirely by adding “person” to the end of it. English is weird.

    • ComradeKhoumrag@infosec.pub
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      8 months ago

      And that’s why I say “bruh”

      I’m probably the only person to not use that word like a frat douche, I just like calling my guy friends bro and I tried calling my female friends bro and they didn’t find that funny so now everyone gets bruh’d

    • ripcord@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      My wife tells me that using as an adjective is just as bad and that I should always say “woman”, e.g. a woman politician and never a female politician.

      I generally disagree and it seems fine and not disrespectful at all. But it’s somehat less up to me - I’m not a female.

      • Kazumara@feddit.de
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        8 months ago

        My wife tells me that using as an adjective is just as bad and that I should always say “woman”, e.g. a woman politician and never a female politician.

        Using a noun as an adjective is just weird, honestly.

    • Quastamaza@lemmy.ml
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      8 months ago

      Oh dear… And why isn’t “a male” just as bad? And what’s intrinsically wrong about those two as a noun? Why is it ok to call someone “a fire fighter“, “a journalist”, and not “a female”? Is it something to feel shame about? Bah. It’s really beyond me. Thank god i live in Italy, where this kind of stuff still struggles to gain traction, but alas it will do eventually, since hey, you know, we’re all living in america after all. What’s more, it’s not entirely true: now you can get scolded even for using female as an adjective (it happened to me more than once), my friend. And it’ll get worse, just you wait and see.

      • TheBananaKing@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        “I had coffee with one of the males at work”

        “There’s a male waiting for you downstairs”

        “I need to see a male about a dog”

        All of them would be weird as fuck, and yes, they’d sound demeaning. They don’t have the same weird-incel vibe, but that’s just an accident of culture.

      • Kazumara@feddit.de
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        8 months ago

        And why isn’t “a male” just as bad?

        It is.

        And what’s intrinsically wrong about those two as a noun?

        Because you’re reducing people to their characteristics of identity.

        Why is it ok to call someone “a fire fighter“, “a journalist”, and not “a female”?

        Because those are characteristics of their chosen functions.

        It seems pretty easy to me, and I’m not even a native speaker.

        • Quastamaza@lemmy.ml
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          8 months ago

          It is.

          Okay, that’s your opinion, not mine. If opinions still exist, that is.

          Because you’re reducing people to their characteristics of identity.

          And having innate characteristics is horrible… unbelievable. I must be really old.

          It seems pretty easy to me, and I’m not even a native speaker.

          Ok, you’re right, you’re reeeally smart. Well done. I quit, have the last say.