When I was 13 years old I did something very wrong. Back in the day in my middle school was fucked up trend: slaping girl’s asses. I didn’t have the courage to do it myself so when we had family reunion I decided to practice with my 5 years old cousin. When I was playing with her I slightly spanked her butt over the clothes multiple times. Then I continued with slightly pulling her pants down and then I slightly spanked. Once I had pulled so much that I saw her private parts and in that moment I had realized that I messed up. Since then I have never repeated such disgusting behaviour, yet my guilt and selfhate for this action has been slowly increasing.

Nowdays with my cousin I have good relationship, I sometimes help her out with school work. She doesn’t seem to be uncomfortable around me.

Am I a disgusting person?

  • molave@reddthat.com
    102·
    8 months ago

    Your actions were disgusting, but you as a person are not disgusting. Even better, you stopped doing those things.

    If it continues to bother you that much, consider apologizing to your cousin.

  • calabast@lemm.ee
    4·
    8 months ago

    You did something due to peer pressure at an age when kids are obsessed with fitting in. In the course of doing so, you realized it was wrong and you stopped. Even now, presumably years later, you still feel bad about it. I’d say you’re good, every single one of us has done things (often involving inappropriate actions) we look back on and regret. You’re fine.

  • Crackhappy@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    8 months ago

    You clearly knew what you were doing was wrong, you’ve thought about it since and I’m presuming that you haven’t done it since. Making a mistake and not making it again is the right thing. So no, not a disgusting person.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    1·
    8 months ago

    I hate to break this to you, but kids are idiots. Their brains are still baking, so they do dumb shit all the time.

    There’s a reason that kids have a separate prong of the justice system in many places. Everybody knows the sheer stupidity that can happen because they, too, have done abysmally stupid shit.

    Now, this one was pretty fucking bad. But it’s still just an idiot kid being an idiot, not some predictor of the adult the kid grows into remaining an idiot.

    Mind you, plenty of adults are idiots too, but the ones that don’t repeat a given form of stupidity are ahead of the rest. So you’re fine. Let go of the guilt, stop beating yourself up, and move on.