I believe that if a man and a woman get together and both sides get turned on, the man is more likely to be more desperate to get off.

Is it common among women though?

  • HubertManne@kbin.social
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    7 months ago

    why would a woman know the relative strength more than a man? They both only truly know one side of the equation. I think this varies quite a bit across individuals as well.

  • FairycorePhoebe@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    7 months ago

    This really entirely depends on the woman. I’m a lesbian and I love to orgasm and don’t feel satisfied until I do. My girlfriend is the opposite and is more there for the journey. She is indifferent to achieving an orgasm and can be satisfied without one.

  • hperrin@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    (Not a woman, just a dude on the internet sharing my experience.)

    This really depends on the woman and the man. Sometimes getting your partner off scratches a bigger itch than getting off yourself. I’ve even felt differently depending on the partner I was with or the mood I was in.

    As a general rule of thumb, it’s easier for women to cum multiple times in quick succession than for men, and for women to keep going after cumming. So in my experience, women like to cum early and often, while men just want one big orgasm at the end. It’s rare for a man to be able to orgasm without ejaculating, and it’s the ejaculation that makes us need a refractory period.

    Then there are trans women as well, who you might think are most like cis men with regard to orgasms, but in my experience, trans women are less concerned with having one big orgasm at the end of the session, and usually more able to cum multiple times and cum without ejaculating.

    Again, all of this is just my experience. It’s best to ask your partner what they like and what they want to do with you. Listen to what your partner wants, and prioritize their pleasure. Some people are really easy to “read”, but some are harder, so asking and listening is always the best way to please your partner.

  • Lmaydev@programming.dev
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    7 months ago

    Most likely stronger.

    The male orgasm is easier to achieve and pretty much guaranteed.

    From what my female friends have said it can be rarer for them.

    • Tiefling IRL@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      7 months ago

      It’s a fucking chore…

      Although it also depends a lot on the person. But for me, I usually get distracted and/or bored before I finish. ADHD is a bitch lol.

    • idiomaddict@feddit.de
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      7 months ago

      The female orgasm is pretty easy for me to achieve alone. I can generally come within 5 minutes if I really want to.

      Coming during sex is totally different, but that’s because of the other factors involved, not because female orgasms are inherently rare or difficult for everyone.

      • RBWells@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Yeah same, it’s always been between about 30 seconds and 5 minutes, with occasional “it’s not gonna happen” times, and as I get older more multiples too, that didn’t happen for me when young. Husband is about 3 minutes on the low end, usually 10, sometimes hour or more and still wants to get off, I would give up way before that.

  • modifier@lemmy.ca
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    7 months ago

    Not a lady but I’ve been married to one for a couple decades and I think we have good communication.

    I’d wager that there is little difference in the urge to get off. I’d wager that the biggest difference lies in where ‘getting off’ falls within the whole sequence of events.

    For most men, getting off is the last period at the end of the last sentence of the last chapter. That may create urgency in their partner that might not otherwise be there.

      • Unmarketable Plushie@pawb.social
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        7 months ago

        Stormyfemme is talking about a certain phenomenon on r/AskReddit, where a lot of the questions asked survey (usually) women about their sex lives in a way that makes it obvious that OP gets their rocks off to the answers. So basically the implication is that you’re doing the same thing.

        (I’m not saying I necessarily agree with Stormyfemme’s assessment of your motivations. I’m just giving context.)

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    It depends on the person. But yes it’s frustrating as heck to be close and not get there. And even more frustrating it would be if it was because the guy thought women didn’t care about it.

    Just being turned on, though? Not actively having sex? I dunno. Are you saying that every single time you are turned on even a little you have to follow that all the way to orgasm? I don’t think most guys are like that, or at least not the ones I’ve been with.

  • OrbitJunkie@lemdro.id
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    7 months ago

    Follow up question for ladies: how do you more usually / prefer to get off: 1) by just “standard” penetration or 2) finger/tongue/others stimulation?

    asking for a friend

    • hperrin@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Most (cis) women I’ve been with have gotten off best/only from clitoral stimulation. Only a few have preferred penetration with no clitoral stimulation. But none that I remember have disliked clitoral stimulation. So I’d say (speaking only from my experience), chances are she’ll like it if you push her button, but really you should just ask. And make her pleasure a priority. (Don’t just ask, but listen too, and ask again if she doesn’t seem into it.)

        • hperrin@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          That’s not true. They might feel uncomfortable asking because they’re inexperienced. Having strangers on the internet assure you that asking is not only normal, but helpful, can really help someone who’s feeling nervous with a new partner.

          • Vendetta9076@sh.itjust.works
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            7 months ago

            I never said they didnt have a partner. I said they didnt have a partner they could ask. Your example still fits within my comment.