Here’s a good place to start:

gpg --gen-key

Then follow the prompts.

This is patently false. Secure boot and hibernation are not mutually exclusive.

Zee shell ist die beste.

I think you’re conflating shells and terminals.

Is this a Demolition Man joke?

xz --version

So much whoooosh

Let me decentralize my shit…

Isn’t that why it’s a web of trust, and not a center of trust? I think you might be confusing that with public key infrastructure.

Also, you can’t decentralize your shit without a second party. That’s kind of the point.

I didn’t have a gigabyte mobo, but I use fancontrol-gui:

https://wiki.archlinux.org/title/Fan_speed_control