I was in gifted courses in school and I’m a fucking idiot. All it did was teach me rudimentary Spanish and make me a target later.

Alright Blitz. What was your previous job?

What is your current job?

You shit on your cousin as a drunk and she still continues to arrive at the Family Estate.

What’s your deal rich man?

I was walking from the corner store when there was this guy freestyling. I was wearing a white shirt with red stripes all over it. He pointed at me and says where’s Waldo, where’s Waldo, he too bald to hide. So yeah.

I still have the shirt and I wear it as junk clothes. I always think Waldo when I put it on.

You nailed it for some of us. What do you do with a guy who went balls to the wall well into his 30s to make up for it?

I’ve felt happiness a few times. I’m thinking it’s time to fight for it.

Yep. Learned the first knot goes left over right in my 30s. Shoes fit better and don’t do that stupid thing where the laces face front to back.

Well it was only twice in the 20+ years I’ve been going to bars, and I don’t shy away from a gay bar.

I don’t know if they would have. They say they would have. But I think a lot of it is trying to reduce their association with this fucking psychopath narcissist.

It’s useful when talking about race issues. Instead of saying white/black people you can say white folk or black folk. It just seems more friendly when discussing something that could be sensitive.

I like bet. It’s just saying “You can bet on it” in a fun quick way.

This one makes me crazy. And I’ve heard it so much I’ve caught myself saying it which makes me angry with myself.

This. It’s so useless. I downvote it automatically.

Age, Sex, Location. It’s shorthand from old chatrooms. Used to strike up a conversation which could lead to cyber (short for cybersex).

I judge the shit out of people for this. It suggests that they don’t even grasp the meaning of the words they are typing or saying.

I understand where you’re coming from, but it might just have been a simple accident and they’re too poor or don’t have the time to get it fixed. I went around with a shattered screen for about six months.

I let gay guys buy me drinks but I make it clear that I’m straight and married to a woman. Twice now that has turned into a conversation where the man buying the drink tried to convince me I am lying to myself.

White underwear and socks are just so boring.

I know several people in real life who liked Bernie but voted for Trump. Here in a deep red state.

I started screaming during my sleep after my mom died. It was a complicated relationship. As the years go by it happens less and less. Scared the shit out of my wife many times. I think I will remember one of the nightmares for the rest of my life. I usually enjoy scary dreams.

It’s “peace of mind.” Doesn’t that make more sense?

There are so many… we’ve had 8 cats together, 4 currently. One of the younger brothers has his mouth open anytime he’s awake. He just walks around like that and he looks stupid, and he is stupid. Dumbest cat I’ve ever had.

We had him x-rayed when we got his nuts cut this year. Every vet says they can’t see anything physiological that would cause this. When he eats he uses his open lower jaw as a shovel then crunches. He sleeps with his mouth closed.

Edit to add- I watched him hunt and eat a camel cricket a couple days ago. He has no problem killing with his jaw, I swear he’s just stupid. The vet I last saw jokingly called him a bit below average.